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Social Customs or Traditions you would Axe
Topic Started: Mar 3 2015, 01:20 AM (904 Views)
cipher
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Fancy Chicken

What are some social customs or traditions that, if given the ability to do so, you would stop from happening?

I think I would change the way women are "supposed" to be submissive to males in social contexts (I spend time with a lot of Asian people, and it seems to be a common way of conduct with them). It is very uncomfortable to see a friend "hold back" their personality because they are supposed to, and then see them go back to normal after the elders leave.
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td260
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I want to say that most cultures don't take it nearly to the extreme that some Asian cultures do, but that's
1) A broad over-generalization
2) Ignorant
and 3) Doesn't solve the problem

Personally, I'd chuck double standards. All of them. Fuck 'em. They don't do anything useful for society.
When the light is strong the shadows thrown out, become a deeper Darkness.... But It's those dark shadows that allow the world to be so..." Solar Boy Django
"Even the darkest night turns to dawn eventually... Our sun will rise again." -Miles Edgeworth
"What's done is done. You can't change the past. But it doesn't mean that the future is decided! What you do right now... That's what will determine the future!"-Master Otenko
"Every night will have a day. Even forever has to come to an end"- Chrono Trigger
"I am a traveler of both time and space, and a swimmer of dreams" -Luke Atmey
To err is human... to really F*** things up, you need a computer.
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Catman
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Loneliest Stardust Crusader

Roles. That's gender roles, age roles etc
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Miva
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Everything everyone has mentioned and Older men (or anyone) calling woman they don't know 'darling' or 'love' . I find it creepy, by in a way I don't feel I can call out, because they mean it harmlessly , I just find it overly personal and a bit degrading.
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Sagie
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crotchety

Miva
Mar 3 2015, 12:25 PM
Everything everyone has mentioned and Older men (or anyone) calling woman they don't know 'darling' or 'love' . I find it creepy, by in a way I don't feel I can call out, because they mean it harmlessly , I just find it overly personal and a bit degrading.
I have a similar problem with being called "honey." Apparently it's a thing women call younger women, "honey" or "sweetie" but it's condescending and I sometimes get called it by women younger than me and it's just...gih.
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Miva
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Yeah agreed, the way it's used it often so patronising.
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td260
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Another one to axe is assumptions based on economic status.

Also worth as a person based on appearance.
When the light is strong the shadows thrown out, become a deeper Darkness.... But It's those dark shadows that allow the world to be so..." Solar Boy Django
"Even the darkest night turns to dawn eventually... Our sun will rise again." -Miles Edgeworth
"What's done is done. You can't change the past. But it doesn't mean that the future is decided! What you do right now... That's what will determine the future!"-Master Otenko
"Every night will have a day. Even forever has to come to an end"- Chrono Trigger
"I am a traveler of both time and space, and a swimmer of dreams" -Luke Atmey
To err is human... to really F*** things up, you need a computer.
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Sagie
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crotchety

We do have to be careful with what we want to axe though, guys.

Basically what we all really want are the extremes of most of what we're saying. Like I agree that traditional gender roles and age roles are a pain in the ass when someone's not letting you do something, but I would want to preserve something of youth (particularly in the course of keeping children safe and making sure projects were in the hands of those responsible enough to handle them) and certainly of masculinity and femininity as concepts. I can dislike being objectified and still think there's something innately feminine about the moon or the ocean.

Assumptions suck, but it's silly to pretend that we can't make intelligent observations based on what we see and hear about others. It's part of survival. If we see someone approaching us looking shady, it's a survival instinct to assume they want something bad and avoid it.

I think better to eliminate would be things like bigotry and intolerance, and instate things such as equal opportunity. If a person is following me down an alley and looks threatening, I ought to make an assumption to preserve myself. If a person shows up to a job interview and happens to have a threatening face and demeanor, but is definitely there for an interview, I can't discount this person based on appearance.
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td260
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I agree with you in that tendency, but I feel as though the most dangerous people are the ones you don't expect to be dangerous.

I definitely feel as though we should preserve some form of "youth", though what defines "youth" is what has led us to the problems we have today. Honestly, it's very easy for us to sit here saying "Oh, I'd change this and that" but to actually think about the ramifications of going through with that process? Or what our society would be like without them? It's a daunting thought experiment, because while some practices are very obviously archaic and ill-founded, others are nebulous and much more hazy when it comes to an exact definition of the practice, as well as what's exactly wrong about it. Is it wrong to discredit someone because they're your junior? Perhaps; though they may not have as much life experience in certain topics. Is it wrong to make ill assumptions based on the appearance of someone across the street? Not always, but then again, there's an exception to every rule and a rule to every exception. The world is filled with blacks, whites, and a thousand shades of grey where social customs work sometimes yet fall apart at other times. The real danger is to try and apply a single action to all facets of life.

Going back to the original topic though, A social custom I'd love to get rid of is for America to get it's collective head out of it's ass and stop both expecting tips/lowering wages based on the fact that everyone tips.

Edit: That got way more ranty and tangent-focused than I intended. I apologize.
Edited by td260, Mar 3 2015, 08:11 PM.
When the light is strong the shadows thrown out, become a deeper Darkness.... But It's those dark shadows that allow the world to be so..." Solar Boy Django
"Even the darkest night turns to dawn eventually... Our sun will rise again." -Miles Edgeworth
"What's done is done. You can't change the past. But it doesn't mean that the future is decided! What you do right now... That's what will determine the future!"-Master Otenko
"Every night will have a day. Even forever has to come to an end"- Chrono Trigger
"I am a traveler of both time and space, and a swimmer of dreams" -Luke Atmey
To err is human... to really F*** things up, you need a computer.
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cipher
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Fancy Chicken

td260
Mar 3 2015, 08:11 PM
Going back to the original topic though, A social custom I'd love to get rid of is for America to get it's collective head out of it's ass and stop both expecting tips/lowering wages based on the fact that everyone tips.

Edit: That got way more ranty and tangent-focused than I intended. I apologize.
That is a great one that I hadn't thought of until you mentioned it. I love tipping people that did a great job because it shows them you appreciate them, but I would love it even more if the employers just paid them a fair wage.

I know some people who refuse to tip at all in "the name of their stance" against the custom, but in the meanwhile the servers are getting screwed so I don't think that it is a valid move.

It would indeed be best if it were axed cleanly.
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Miva
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Sagie
Mar 3 2015, 07:43 PM
I would want to preserve something of youth (particularly in the course of keeping children safe and making sure projects were in the hands of those responsible enough to handle them) and certainly of masculinity and femininity as concepts. I can dislike being objectified and still think there's something innately feminine about the moon or the ocean.
I disagree. Sure it seems nice and harmless to keep the positive elements of femininity, but you have to remember that by claiming it as feminine you can make men feel uncomfortable associating with it.
I don't think the moon or the ocean is innately to do with the female sex, however if you could remove the gender based aspect of the word feminine and meant only things such as delicacy, beauty, grace etc then I would agree.
The problem is that you deny men these things if you call them feminine, if a man wanted to be all those thing and consider himself to be connected to the moon then it's seen as defying gender rolls.

I would prefer it if we could some how change the words masculine and feminine so that they weren't gendered then a man might be more willing to opening aspire to be feminine and a woman might be more likely aspire to be masculine, if that's what they want to do.

(unless you mean that we're inherently linked to the moon and oceans because we have a cycle, in some areas experiences are specific to gender)
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cipher
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Fancy Chicken

I think we can still have the concepts of femininity and masculinity without the assumption that either of those things are limited to their respective genders.

I recognize that some traits I have in me can be considered masculine and some feminine, and the same applies to a girl. A problem is when men are afraid to express, gain, or explore their feminine sides and vice versa for women. However I think there is growing social acceptance of people embracing both their masculine and feminine nature and thus the distancing from gendered language will become less of a concern.
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Nikki
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Omniheurist
Why not then use the notions of Yin and Yang instead?
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cipher
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Fancy Chicken

You could, but yin and yang also includes the distinction between masculinity and femininity among other things. I think it's not worthwhile to arbitrate a change in language while the ideas that represent that language still exist and are used in daily discourse. Rather I feel the emphasis should be placed on the idea that men or women are not limited to acting in their classic roles, and emphasizing the idea that one is not inherently dominant or preferable over the other.
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Nikki
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Omniheurist
I thought that Yin / Yang made a distinction between masculinity and feminity without actually entering into gender categorisations...
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